Girls are not pieces of meat

Article publié initialement le 26 septembre 2013 sur le site World Pulse. Avec quelques éditions mineures.

At the age of thirteen, my breasts began to grow. As a trait that I inherited from my father’s family, and that I share with all my aunts and my cousins, my breasts were rapidly full, generous, and ample. I was a very shy and discreet girl at that moment, and to have a sexy bosom was not a thing that I was prepared for. It was even more than sexy. It was huge! I felt as if I was disconnected with this new body. At that time, dreaming and reading was all that I wanted. I wanted to become an author! But no one seemed to be able to see beyond this full bosom. Things got worse when boys and older teenagers began to have dirty comments behind my back. They considered me as one of those porn stars! It is very difficult when you want to be seen as an ordinary girl, and all the guys that you meet seem to only see in you a piece of meat to f***. Hey! Welcome to the women’s world!

At 21, I contemplated the idea of going through plastic surgery to get rid of those things that I considered as embarrassing parts. However, it was not possible because I had no money at all. I could have used those very feminine attributes to obtain something from all those men who were lurking around with their hungry eyes on my bosom, but I was raised to use my brain rather than my body. There were plenty of them. Young boys, young men, mature men…the last were the worst of them! They had this same glint in their eyes, the glint of lust. And worse, a glint that seems to say that they will never respect me as a human. I was just a body with no mind, a body that resembles to what they appreciate in those awful porn videos. But I knew better. I never allowed anyone to get close to me. However, I do understand that other girls act differently, because they were not taught early enough that they could say no, and that they were worth respect. They have no options.

It was a long journey to reconcile myself with my body, and it became easier after the birth of my three children. However, I will never forget those eyes that lingered on my bosom. I will never forget those hands trying to get a hold of one of my breasts when I was just innocently passing by, and it happened more than once. I will never forget those mocking laughter mixed with lust and disgust. I was a bitch, they seemed to say. I would never forget that little girl that I was before. No girl is ever a bitch. I was thirteen, and all I wanted to do was to cope with the awkwardness of being a teenager.

Why do I need to share this story? I guess many girls and women around the world have the same trouble, and even more dramatic stories because of their body. Every now and then, we, women, are still struggling to be seen as human being who are worth respect. We are living in societies that still show women and girls as a mean for boys and men to satisfy their sexual needs, to take care of them in their everyday life and to bear their heirs. And because of this, rape is still a threat for women and girls around the world, inequality is considered as normal, and worse of all, we are still raising our little girls to use their curves to obtain a man’s attention, and our boys to appreciate the physical beauty of a woman rather than their spiritual beauty. Is this the world we want for our future? I don’t think so!

Now, as a mother, I know that I have to make sure my daughters know that they have to be respected, as much as they respect others, and I have to make sure that my boy becomes a respectful man. I know that they will have to go through their hormonal driven period, but they should never forget that the core of a true and healthy relationship is being equal to one another, and in every aspect of life. I believe we need more focus on how to help both parents to raise their children more efficiently, so that our future boys and men have more respectful behaviors, and girls and women are seen beyond their body.